Candidates as NFL teams

Caucus season is coming to a close in Iowa, and the Super Bowl is almost here. So I was thinking about what Presidential candidate is like what NFL team. Here's my crack at it.

Hillary Clinton is the New England Patriots

This one is the easiest. Has their wide share of fans, but everyone else hates them. Cheats all the time, and gets away with it.

Bernie Sanders is the Denver Broncos

Old guy at the helm. Everybody wonders why/how they do so well. Legal weed in Colorado also suits most of the Bernie supporters too.

Rand Paul is the New York Jets

Very dedicated and loyal fanbase. Some psychotic nut supporters. Liberty faction in the Republican Party is the redheaded stepchild of the party, just like the Jets are in NYC.

Jeb Bush is the Miami Dolphins

Very good pedigree. On paper, looks talented. But everybody laughs at the thought of a Dolphins Super Bowl or Jeb Bush presidency.

Ben Carson is the Tennessee Titans

Just like you can't hear Ben Carson, you can't really hear the Titans. You know they are there, but they don't really make any noise.

Ted Cruz is the Pittsburgh Steelers

A pick to win it all. A loyal and dedicated fan base around the country full of true believers. Opponents know they are good and resent it. Well coached and prepared.

John Kasich is the San Diego Chargers

Nobody really hates the Chargers, but a lot of times they are annoying like the talkative 9 year old that is always tugging at your arm. They are not going to win, but you are forced to acknowledge their presence.

Marco Rubio is the Cincinnati Bengals

All sorts of talent, but self-inflicted stuff that prevents going top tier. You always wonder, why don't the Bengals do better?

Carly Fiorina is the Detroit Lions

You start off saying, "No way." Then the Lions win 4 in a row, and you are thinking, "Wow, we are on to something here." Then by week 16, you kinda forget that the Lions are in the NFL.

Chris Christie is the Green Bay Packers

This is my weakest comparison. I don't really have a good one. I chose this because I like Christie himself well enough, and I like the Packer players. But when I look at his policies and most Packer fans, I want them to lose.

Donald Trump is the Dallas Cowboys

A lot of spectacular wins and buildings, and lot of bad losses and bankruptcies. I don't think there is a team with more Super Bowl trophies to go along with double digit loss seasons. Their fans love them, and the doubters think they are clowns (see Romo).

Rick Santorum, Mike Huckabee, and Jim Gilmore are the Canton Bulldogs.

They used to be in the NFL, 90 years ago. Unfortunately for these 3, they haven't realized their team has folded.